Today. And forever.

Over the last month or so I’ve been trying to come to terms with my “circle” and my new life with my daughter. While my circle has most definitely changed, some for the better, some not, it still remains a circle. 

I’m not going to lie. Motherhood is hard and a trying adventure. I’ve had some doozy of days. Some days I honestly wanted to throw my hands in the air and wave a white flag. I’m 38 years old and how ever I thought I was prepared for this, I was clearly not. My days have been a complete roller coaster. Learning her habits and breaking the ones she’s pre-learned is hard. Bursting into tears with frustration and finally making that call for relief. What I keep hearing…”she’s only 2. ” Yes, you are correct but I refuse to raise an asshole child. I refuse to let her run wild and be disobediently disrespectful. I however, will give her a rope to explore, learn new things and create structure. There will be rules. 

“Kids will be kids”, “choose your battles” another two of my favourite quotes. *insert eye roll*  I choose to pick my battles every day. Some days are better than others. Some days there are no issues. But some there are battles of the minds. She’s headstrong, and I refuse to let a 2 year old win that battle. 

She’s done remarkably well from being here. She’s almost completely potty trained. Yes, “she’s only 2” but she knew what was going on, so it’s not like she was oblivious. Her speech has grown ten fold as well. So we must be doing something right. 

What people on the outside world need to realize is she’s not a “normal” child. She didn’t have a “clean” time in utero. Her mother was a user. Of probably a lot more things that we heard about. She’s not an easy child at times so we can’t be typical parents and use the typical parenting styles. We have to find what works for us and would like to not be judged for it. 

She’s a strong willed little girl, so let me make her blossom into a strong, independent little lady. Just be my friend, be supportive of how I’m doing and let me know that. This world is full of judgement and gossip and being a mother can sometimes make you very lonely.


One thought on “Today. And forever.

  1. Parenting is not easy with ” normal” strong willed, genetically your own, without drugs in utero parents!
    So, you have done an amazing job with all the factors rolled into one and including missing two years of adjustments and “getting used to” and “growing with” each other!
    Do not give in, that doesn’t help! Kids do need boundaries and consistent rules and parenting. It is and will be a full time job until they are on “terra firma” and really “get it”.
    Utilize all the support systems you have…….take a break, go have coffee with a friend, by yourself, to regroup if that is what it takes. No guilt, no judgement.

    Know that you are loved, you are supported, you are a good set of parents with love to give. However, you are human………it hurts, it is frustrating, it can make you mad…….this parenting thing……….but in the end- of the day, of the years… will be worth every tear and every smile.
    We love you both………..
    Steve and Leslee

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