The perception of healing.

So my “one month” after my miscarriage just happened. It was a very sour day for my heart. But then again…there will be many more months after and the dreaded “due date” that I had for the baby that was supposed to be in my belly. The fact of the matter is, I’m no longer pregnant and it’s unlikely, I will ever be. As days go by, I become more ” at peace” with that fact. I’m not going to lie, I love being able to do what I want, go where I want and not have anything to worry about except the animals. For the last month I’ve been getting back to me and going places that bring me peace and that is the mountains. I love being outside, breathing the fresh air and just enjoying the fact that this is my life. The admiration for our forests and nature heals my heart so I need to soak it in any chance I get. Do I think I’ll ever be completely healed? Nope. There will always be that piece in my heart that is missing but for now, I must accept that biological children is just a dream. If science couldn’t help me, then I’m on my own. Magically can I get pregnant naturally? Perhaps. But since I have no closure on what my “issue” is, then its unlikely.
My circle will get smaller as I’m not one of those “ttc girls” too, but I’m okay with that. I valued each and every friendship I made with these ladies and they’ve contributed to my life when nobody else could. So all in all. I’ve had hope, had courage and had my heart broken. This journey isn’t for the faint of heart, but if you succeed, you will be eternally grateful. Now back to regular programming…….

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2 thoughts on “The perception of healing.

  1. I think of you each time I realize we’ve past another “milestone” after our loss. I get that sense of longing for it not to seem so far in the past, yet I also realize the important of healing. Sending much love to you. ❤

  2. Always here whether you are ttc or not. Eventually we all grow out of ttc, whether it’s through parenthood or deciding not to continue. It’s a wicked hard path and I’m sorry you had to experience loss like you have.

    Glad you’re finding peace in nature. It’s the best kind.

    xo

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