From those who aren’t familiar with this term, it’s pregnant until proven otherwise. That is me as of right now. I couldn’t be more excited.
Let me rewind. Cycle 2 was a go and I honestly was trying to wrap my head around this new cycle. Was it going to be the same as last time? Or was it going to be a breeze? I had heard so many stories of ladies on the online support group having a breeze of a time with egg retrievals. I was thinking, maybe this is my turn for it to be easy? Well once everything was ready to go….my follicles weren’t as plentiful as last time but we had a few good ones with a few that were slowly catching up. I stimmed for 9 days again but things were definitely slower than last time. I went in for my 8th day ultrasound and the doctor that was doing it didn’t sound too positive and that got my emotions running wild. She said….”oh, I don’t think you will get many eggs”. I left the room and went into the consult room with my nurse. My emotions let go. Did I want to continue on with this cycle and waste my time with poor results? I honestly wanted to pull the plug. I can’t go through with another egg retrieval only to get poor results again. I expressed interest in talking to my doctor to ask his opinion but I felt lost. I’m too old for this shit. I’m exhausted. I just couldn’t remain strong anymore. I was weak. It felt good to cry, I needed to. I wanted to quit. You can only remain strong for so long. After bouts of complete sadness, I picked myself up and waited to chat to my doctor.
That day came and in he walked into the room. Dr. Y is a pretty straight shooter, he tells you how it is and what he honestly thinks. In he walks and says, Hi dear, I hear you are thinking about canceling this cycle. I look at him and just say yes. He says, don’t be silly, you are halfway through this. I’ve seen women get pregnant from one egg before so I think you should keep going. Phew. I still was skeptical but we continued on.
Egg retrieval day was a complete disaster. The positive of that day was that we got 8 eggs! Besides the blacking out, waking up on the floor with an oxygen mask, my oxygen rate at 50% and throwing up numerous times, that was the positive. So you take a little bit of craziness with the positive. We went home and waited for the day 1 call of how things were progressing. ICSI was performed which means individual sperm of best quality were inserted into each egg to fertilize.
Day 1 report. I felt sick to my stomach when the call display showed the clinics name..okay so here we go. 8 were removed, 5 were mature eggs and 4 fertilized. Phew. Okay one hurdle done, now let’s wait the next two days for another report. Day 3 came along and I got the call, 3 were still doing excellent! I was happy but scared because last round, this was the same result. Gosh….okay keep it together. Transfer was scheduled for Saturday at 11:30. We were going camping for the weekend and headed out that Friday. That Saturday, I woke up after a long night tossing and turning. Okay let’s go do this. We arrived in Vancouver and headed in. I was ushered off for a blood test where the nurse couldn’t find a vein. Twice and nothing! He said he was going to call Kelly another nurse from upstairs. I was thinking, god, I hope this Kelly lady knows what she’s doing. I waited for a few minutes and in walks my nurse, Kelly!! Phew. A familiar face. One poke in and bloods were taken. As she was taking my blood, she said, “I had to go in to the lab this morning.” Jane, the embryologist who performed our ICSI was there. She said she had to get my report before we went in. With a big smile on her face she shared that we have 3 excellent blastocysts!!! Frick!!! Finally my eggs have made it to day 5, and developed properly. Huge sense of relief. One beautiful grade 4BA blastocyst was transferred into me. And 2 were frozen for future use. Woohoo! Now for the wait to see if this little one snuggles in:) Thank goodness I didn’t give up. This could be my turn! Here she/or he is. Aren’t they beautiful????