So now what?

It’s official, I received the “dreaded but already known” negative beta.

I’ve already had my bouts of tears, my self doubt , and my racing mind. Where do we go from here?

We were asked if we wanted to apply for the second round. I’m not sure how different it will be from the first. Will it be successful this time? Or will it lead me back where I am standing right now. It’s a whole lot of decisions that need to be made. I was on the fence about doing any more treatments til I found a certain picture on Pinterest. I will attach it on the end of my post. It made my heart flutter. I so want this, I want to experience what other women experience.

On the other hand, we could pay $8-12,000 depending on what we need to get a fully medicated and strictly regimented ivf process.

I’m at a loss for what to do. I’ll find the money…somehow. Lots of ladies have used a “go fund me” page where people can donate money to their cause. While I don’t see an issue with it, it’s not my thing. I couldn’t ask for money regardless of financial situations.

Next Wednesday is the day to decide. Maybe we will try the second leg if we get approved then if that doesn’t work…we will pay for one round. If none of them work, we will be without a biological child. I will learn to accept that fact.



2 thoughts on “So now what?

  1. I hope you try again with the fully funded option then worse case scenario try the donating page and even if you get part of it, that would help. My thoughts are always with you. If there’s anything I can do, call/text anytime day or night. I think you need to come to the mountains to bring you some joy. xxxx

  2. Take a few days to figure out your plan. I know it’s not easy but my husband always says the same thing, “we will cross that path when we get there”. Just focus on the next cycle and not on the what ifs beyond that. (easier said than done I know)

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