Well I survived Mothers Day, well sort of. 3 years ago I thought I’d be a mother and maybe this year, I would be receiving a little construction paper card with crayon drawings and some illegible writing from my child. But needless to say, we are still childless. Although we could of been celebrating with a non biological child, we aren’t. Life sends you for a whirl and you have to make excruciatingly tough decisions. I have always been “pro adoption”…for one…I was raised in a household where there were babies and children in and out of the household. Some stayed for a short while, while their parents “figured life out” and others never left. I figured since god had my life turn out like it has, he’s testing me. He’s testing how strong I am, how much heartbreak I can take and how much resilience I have. I think I have got my “shit” together. I feel better about my situation, my head is more clear and I’m ready to take on this particular part of our journey. In past posts, I was bitter, angry and upset. I have very good reasons for all this. No explanations needed.
I have also booked a ticket to California. In California, I will be blessed with new friendships, laughter and a real sisterhood. Never once have I felt like people “get” me but these ladies do. I am particularly excited to get to meet in person a lady I recently connected with who is from Kansas. She’s a “say it is, how it is” type of person and I adore that about her. We were only talking a short time when she mentioned something about coming to B.C…….I was like….oh wow…really???? I offered my place for her and her hubby to stay if they wanted to come visit and she said, the only reason I’d be coming out is to meet you. Honestly, I can admit I cracked a smile. How awesome is that???? After back and forth emails, texts, and facebook messages, I expressed how cool it would be to go see a few California girls I’ve been chatting with and who are pretty awesome in themselves. So here we are. We booked the last weekend in July for a meetup. I can safely say, I am pretty darn excited and nervous at the same time. How will we like each other in person? Will we get along?….its all a unknown but I can say that if its anything like the emails that have been coming back and forth, we will have a pretty memorable time.
Now to the news, we are finally starting our first IVF. It was delayed a little while and I finally got the news, we have the GREEN light!! I’m pretty excited about this. Will it be the magic we needed to be a family finally? Or will it lead us for good to the adoption route? Only time will tell and I hope the man upstairs is sincerely going to cut us a little slack:) Either way the world works, by next year, we are hoping to be a family of 3.