So here we go. All booked in for our second iui tomorrow. Excited, yes…nervous…yes but i’m so ready to be a mom. After a bit of being down in the dumps and a little bit of a personal breakdown, I’m back and ready to tackle this cycle.
This journey to becoming a mom is very tough on the soul. I felt broken after our failed iui and our last failed medicated cycle. I often wonder how women stay positive cycle after cycle and keep pressing on. I wanted to give up, I wanted to stop “peeing on sticks” , and I wanted to stop taking my basal temp every morning before I get out of bed. It hadn’t got me anywhere, it hadn’t made me a mom. Perhaps I was becoming bitter, im not sure.
We’ve taken a bit of a different angle to this cycle…still taking the 100 mg clomid from cycle days 5-9 and still doing the iui. We decided to add maca to our daily supplements and see what it does for us. We are hoping by Tyler taking vitamins and supplements, it will boost his sperm count and we can finally get a swimmer to bust through that egg:) We are also going to try the pineapple core on day of iui and for five days to help with implantation.
On another note…we are doing the iui and we are also booked in for an appointment with the adoption worker. We have a little lady in mind that we would like to adopt but we need more information of what it will entail. Its a very hard decision. We are still talking about it and weighing the pro and cons. We have concerns over her mobility and the fact she was delayed 3 months and still hasn’t caught up. The judge wants to have an open adoption with a 6 hour visit with birth mom once a month unsupervised. WE are NOT okay with that and will fully walk away if he insists that this is what needs to be done. She signed her over for adoption, why are we giving her the option to see her child every month?!?! She would be OUR child and birth mom would only be her tummy mummy. Am I being insensitive? Maybe but theres a reason she gave her up. So let someone else have the opportunity of raising her to be a wonderful, creative, sassy little lady with a good head on her shoulders.
We shall see what tomorrow brings<3